Effort....

Have you ever put your all into something or someone and feel like you wasted your time? Or let me put it this way have you ever put so much time and effort in that one person that you become drained and after you just feel like you don't have anymore energy left for the next one....well I'm sure everyone has.


In order for any form of relationship to be successful both people have to put forth an effort to want the relationship to grow and to be able slowly build it. There is always a two way street when it comes to any relationship both persons have to be willing to reach out to the other person. But have you ever put so much effort into one person and felt like the other person was not putting in the same amount of effort  and you end up getting hurt in the end. Then since you feel like you wasted so much time and energy on someone who just end up hurting you. When you meet someone else you do not put in any effort towards them, and the next person comes and you do the same thing. Now it is like a cycle and you have gotten so used to it, that you don't even notice what you are doing. Now your stuck trying to figure out why none of the people you "thought" could be the one never seem to workout. 

I always sit and wonder why some things happen the way they do. I reflect on what I could of did differently and what I need to change next time. God is still working on me and I am learning something new about myself everyday. Thinking back to 2012, I met this guy whom I liked a lot. We talked on the phone and hung out a lot the summer before I left for college. He knew that I liked him and such. But  it was me who was always making plans to see each other, giving him gifts and calling him first most of the time ( I was young and did not know any better lol). But I really like him and thought maybe we could be an official couple soon. Fast forward to my first semester in school. I remember texting, calling and skyping him everyday. (I always made the effort ). Then one day, (for some reason I will never forget this day) but that day I asked him something you should never ask a guy. I asked him how come we aren't dating yet. His answer was he was talking to someone else. I remember that night asking him to tell me why he could not date. He could not really explain. But I was so hurt because I liked this person so much and put in so much effort with him that from the beginning he did not care about my feelings or me at all. After that happen every guy that I met I stopped putting in the effort that I put in before. I just waited on them to ask could they call me, or could we hang out. I've continued doing this up until now. I only did it because I did not want to end up hurt after putting so much time in effort into someone I wanted to date. Sometimes it takes a few years to figure yourself out. While many people have told me that is something I lacked. I let it go in one ear and out of the other. Now that I've figured it out, I am going to continue to work on that in relationships with my friend and with other guys.

I pray that this blog helps you as much as it has helped me.
 Be blessed ,
                  Bria

Will I....

Will I be single forever? Or How long is forever?  I often ask myself this question every now and then. It's not like I'm in a rush to get in a relationship or anything. Heck if I was I would of settled a long time ago. It's just..well I feel like I haven't met the right person. Or at least someone who will give me a chance. I mean I do plan on getting married and starting a family but can I at least make it past the first step. Geez lol!  With the way  my generation has mixed up the terms of dating and being in a relationship ..lets just say I've never been in a serious relationship with anyone. Nor have I been on real date with a guy. So it makes me kind of scared because I feel like I will not know what to do, because I don't have the "experience" I won't know what I like and what I dislike in person. I feel like people don't want to waste their time with someone who has never been in "the relationship game".  Like I have the standards and the qualities I want in someone. I just feel like when God finally sends me The right person it will be hard for me to adjust to actually being in a relationship with me. It will feel so surreal. Because I know I waited forever to meet this person, and I know they will be reason why I went through what I went through. They will be so blessed to meet a girl like me. So until then I'm going to continue waiting until  forever. Hopefully It isn't to bad lol.