Her Appearance.

It 5 o'clock in the morning. I'm up thinking.

One thing that I feel people never do is look at what is on the inside. I feel maybe they don't get to know me long enough to see how good of a person I am. I care about people  and their feelings. I have a big heart. I try not to say or do things that I know would hurt me. When people try to talk down on me. I have comebacks in my head that I want to say but know deep down how it would make them feel. I feel I don't get treated the the way I treat others. See when you're kind to others people start to take your kindness as being weak. I've learned that it is  not me who is weak it the person who has mistakes kindness for weakness.

When it comes to dating someone I always look at what is  on the inside, their looks are just a plus to me.  With me I sometimes think it's the total opposite. Just because they think you are  attractive does not  mean they like you. They just like what they see. After getting to know a person for a few weeks, I will ask them what it is they like about me the first thing they usually say is you are beautiful. That's it??? I mean  It has to be more than just my looks. You can't marry my looks. My looks will one day grow old and fade away. Once that happens then what? I find it very attractive when a man looks at me deeper than just what's on the inside. Because my looks are just apart of the package. I believe along with a physical connection we should be able to connect mentally and spiritually with them. We should not want to be with someone just because they are attractive. There has to be more.  I pray that there is someone out there who wants to know me deeper than just my appearance and that God sends them when the timing is right.

God I Can't hear you

Sometimes when we're going through things in life we always wonder where God is. The days when we feel like giving up. I remember back when I was going through a hard time in my life. I was a freshman in college and the doctors told my mom she could not work anymore. I begin to worry because I knew how this would hurt our family. I didn't like the fact that we had to move and that everything was happening so fast. That year was tough. As I was going through this I question myself and asked where is God and why is he causing me and my family to go through this. I did not understand, Everything seems to be perfect. But a trip to the doctors office changed it all. I often wondered where God was and when was he going to show up and fix everything. At this point in my life my relationship with God wasn't where it is today. I remember that same month I went to a Christian Summit and I remember the lady speaking. She said having a relationship with God and spending time with him is important. The next day I downloaded the bible app and started reading it in the morning before I went to class. Reading the bible helped me get a better understanding of why I was going through what I was going through. That's when I realized during this trial God was with me he was just quiet. I remember my pastor saying that "the teacher is always quiet during the test." God was testing me to see if I would trust him to bless my family and I. I don't where I would be with Him.